On Christmas Day, 2020, I received an early morning phone call from my Dad informing me that my Mom had died. Her death was expected because eleven years earlier she had suffered a massive stroke which had destroyed her ability to walk, speak or care for herself. For over ten years, my amazing Dad cared for her in their home, devotedly meeting her needs while pushing through his own physical pain. Finally, in exhaustion my Dad decided it was time to place Mom in a care center. He found a good facility in a nearby community and daily drove to the care center to visit the love of his life! Even though Covid-19 visiting restrictions prevented close-proximity interactions, Dad traveled to the care center each day and interacted with Mom by standing outside of her window as she was waiting to receive lunch. Then during a recent hospitalization for a urinary tract infection, it became apparent that Mom’s body was failing. The impact the stroke conspired with the natural aging process and breakdown of an 82-year-old body resulting in a serious swallowing deficit! Not being able to swallow adequately severely limited her hydration and nutrition. Mom’s attending Physician explained that apart from tube-feeding, Mom could not live long in her current condition. Dad was faced with the prospect of making a decision no one wants to have to make: Prolong my loved-one’s life and subject them to more suffering or allow their condition to take their life and release them from their broken body.
Since Mom’s quality of life was so limited by the earlier stroke she had suffered, Dad mercifully decided not to subject Mom to any more life-prolonging interventions and to allow her die. Consequently, it wasn’t long before Mom’s body began to shut down and our family prepared for her inevitable death.
We knew she would die. Her death was expected. When Dad called me early Christmas day, I grieved Mom’s death but also rejoiced that she was no longer trapped in a dysfunctional, broken body! What I’ve struggled with is not her death, but the fact that she died alone, with no one from our family at her bedside!
We knew she would die…What I’ve struggled with is not her death, but the fact that she died alone, with no one from our family at her bedside!
My training and experience as a pastor and chaplain, coupled with the compassion God has placed in my spirit compels me to, if at all possible, see to it that no one dies alone!
Over the years in the role of pastor and hospice chaplain, I’ve tried to provide emotional and spiritual support to the dying and their grieving loved ones through the ministry of presence. I’ve read Scripture, recited the lyrics of hymns, sang to, and prayed for the grieving and dying. I’ve listened to the bewildered as they’ve poured out their hearts and on numerous occasions, I’ve facilitated contact with the dying’s next of kin so that in their final hours or minutes of life they could hear the voices and, if possible, feel the physical touch of their loved ones. When death is imminent, goodbyes should be said; Affirming words should be uttered; love and appreciation should flow from memories that are recalled as family members reminisce and recall the journey of the life of their dying loved one. My Mom had none of those things, she was robbed of the comfort our family could have brought to her in her final hours of life. She died alone. Or did she?!
My Mom, though far from being flawless, was a sincere follower of Christ who loved God and cared for people!
If the Bible is true, (and I think it is) and if the testimonies of God’s people are to be trusted, (and I think they can be) then we have strong confidence to believe that God’s grace and supernatural presence was available to His dying child in sufficient measure to comfort her and carry her Home!
In an ideal world, there would be no suffering or death. Or perhaps, if life were “fair” everyone would live to a ripe old age and pass away peacefully in their sleep. But as experience and God’s revelation make so clear, we live in a fallen world where death is universal, and people of all ages lose their lives through natural disasters, violence, diseases, and accidents. Even Jesus Christ, the incarnate Son of God, suffered unjustly,[1] went through extreme emotional and spiritual trauma without adequate social support,[2] and died in a manner so awful that the heightened degree of suffering associated with crucifixion has become an adjective for the worst form of pain! [3]
The Stark Difference Between the Christian & the Non-Christian
While death is the expected experience of all people, the Bible clearly distinguishes between the deaths of Christians and non-Christians. In fact, non-Christians while living are described as being only partially alive; they are organically alive but spiritually dead.[4] The spiritually dead are separated from God, alienated from Him due to sinful rebellion.[5] When the non-Christian’s body dies, their earthly, organic life ends, but their spirit enters eternity where they will be judged by God and be forever separated from the God who they refused to relate to during their earthly journey. [6]
The Christian, though equally deserving of God’s judgment will instead experience God’s love and acceptance. Though equally guilty of failing to meet God’s expressed standards, the Christian at some point acknowledged their failure, and turned from their sin in repentance and placed their trust in Jesus Christ’s death as their only hope of peace with God.[7] God responds to the sincere faith of the repentant sinner by crediting to their account the righteousness of Christ. The Bible says the Christian is “justified” which means to be declared righteous and to be treated as such. God is now free to treat the Christian with compassion instead of judgment because Jesus took the wrath that should be meted out to them. Because of their faith in Christ, they will not be judged! [8]In fact, there no longer remains anything that can separate them from the love of God.[9] That promise of spiritual intimacy with God is ensured by the fact that every Christian, upon receiving God’s forgiveness in Christ, also receives the indwelling presence of the Spirit of God![10] In preparing His disciples for His absence, Jesus said that it was advantageous to them that He leave and send the Spirit who would be with them forever.[11]
The Christian then, by virtue of their relationship to God through Jesus Christ, has access to supernatural resources to comfort and support them in life and in death! Even during a catastrophe like the government’s over-reaction to Covid-19, the Christian can say along with Jesus, “…yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” (John 16:32)
Jesus’ parting affirmation to His followers was, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)
If anyone is united with Christ, they can face whatever happens with rock-solid assurance of God’s Presence and Power working in them! “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)
Seize The Moment!
Since everyone of us is just one heartbeat away from entering eternity, there’s no better time than the present to confirm that you are in a vital relationship to God through Jesus Christ.
Admit to God that you know you’ve failed to love Him and honor His desires. Express to Him your deep longing for forgiveness of your sins and restoration with Him. Ask God to meet you where you are and to guide you in finding peace with Him.
Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” (John 14:6)
The first Christians carried that same message to their lost and dying world by proclaiming, “And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)
From that foundation for your faith the New Testament urges you to cry out to God for His salvation: for “WHOEVER WILL CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD WILL BE SAVED.” (See Romans 10:9-13)
God wants you to be restored to Himself.
Jesus Christ “….bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. (1 Peter 2:24-25)
I urge you, before you contract a terminal disease or your body is irreparably damaged in an accident, seek restoration with God!
“Seek the LORD while He may be found; Call upon Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way And the unrighteous man his thoughts; And let him return to the LORD, And He will have compassion on him, And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon.” (Isaiah 55:6-7)
[1] 1 Peter 2:19-24
[2] Mark 14:27-42, Luke 22:39-46
[3] Isaiah52:13-53:12, Matthew 26:67, Matthew 27:29-30, Mark 15:12-25, (See the definition and etymology of “excruciating”.) https://www.etymonline.com/word/excruciate
[4] Ephesians 2:1-3, Colossians 2:13
[5] Romans 1:18-32, Ephesians 4:17-19, Colossians 1:21
[6] Ecclesiastes 12:7, James 2:26; Hebrews 9:27, John 5:28-29, 2 Thessalonians 1:8-9
[7] Jesus said, “It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:31-32) From God’s perspective, “there is none righteous” (Romans 3:10-12)
[8] See Romans 3:19-31, “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ…”(Romans 5:1)
[9] Romans 8:1, Romans 8:31-39
